Socks and sandals look bad on anyone, but women seem to know this innately and rarely pair them. Therefore, I’m only addressing this advice to my male readers. Cos, well, women just know better.
To begin with, I hate seeing sandals on men, whether they’re sporting socks or not. Don’t ask me why, I don’t have a good answer for you. It’s just one of those things. Still, that would be light years better than seeing socks and sandals on a man.
First of all, what’s the point?
Aren’t you wearing sandals because your feet are hot? Isn’t it summer, and you just want to keep cool somehow? So why are you wearing socks? Do you really think it’s way cooler than wearing a normal pair of shoes?
Ok, maybe a little – but not enough to warrant this eyesore.
I think most of you actually do it because you think it looks good. Or at least normal. Let me tell you, this look is about as sexy as a pocket protector and horn-rimmed glasses. Unless you’re a 10th grade algebra teacher, this look is inappropriate.
How inappropriate is it?
Well, let’s just say I once issued someone an ultimatum. He was a stockbroker with incredibly sexy suits. I have never dated anyone with such style, let me tell you. He asked me out and we had plans to meet for dinner. He arrived at my house in a bizarre, ranger-brown ensemble, topped off with… Teva sandals and white socks.
I refused to leave my house until he promised we would first go past his place so he could put some real shoes on. He did. Cos I was not kidding. He would have been talking to the hand, otherwise.
Yes, y’all, it’s that big of a no-no!
But hey, I realize some of you are going to do it anyway. The least you can do is minimize the horror – here are some tips to help you save your piggies some embarrassment.
Kneehighs and sandals look silly. Are you kidding me?! This didn’t even look good in the 70′s! You’re scaring me, please strip immediately.
Neon colored socks aren’t much better. Ok, you get points if your socks match your shirt, but do I really need to explain the bigger picture here?
Non-matching socks are even worse! Rainbow Bright called, she wants her socks back. White socks are bad enough, do you really need to do this to your poor feet?
Please, be a friend and intervene when your mates fall into sandal-and-sock mode. That goes for women, as well, this looks bad on everyone!